There has been a dramatic shift in my psyche since my trip to Colorado. Would you all think me terrible if I said here that it was one of the best trips of my life? Yes, I went back to say good-bye to my cancer-riddled uncle, who died while I was there (and, if anybody is up for the story, Joe chose the right time to leave to the very hour. The very rightest hour to go. Bless you, Joe, and thanks.). It was painful and exhausting and I smoked and stopped exercising and had a headache that lasted 2 weeks. (See blog entry entitled "Joe" for more on this grief). But I found a clarity that has been missing from my life for years. It's not easy to elaborate on here. Next to impossible, really. I'll just say that I look at my life now, and it is much the same. Same people, same environs, same aspirations, same challenges. And the same me-same body, same heart, same mind, same hands.
Same life, but a very different living. Does that make any sense? My living of my life is different. Beautifully so, and it is such a blessing that I nearly feel guilty for taking the good that came with the bad.
Nearly, but not quite. Certainly not enough to deny myself any good that is offered me, however it offers itself.
-C.
10 years ago
4 comments:
I love the way you write. It's like you know exactly the right words to get me to feel your meaning, instead of just reading it.
Thanks! I do enjoy the written word so. I think it is how I best communicate.
Its great to see you hit such a nice stride with the world and your place in it.
Good post kid!
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