Here is another reason why I am a jerk:

Today is my mother's birthday. I am not allowed to tell you how old she is. I would love to, because my mom looks around 10-15 years younger than she is, and hell, I think she should brag. But she is modest and doesn't want people in her business, so I will not tell you here how old she turns today.

Why not just go ahead & post her age, you ask? That's easy-I am afraid of my mother. She is 4 foot 11ish, about 96 pounds, and I am afraid of making her angry. I will use words like "fuck" & "asshole" with gleeful abandon, but I will not post my mother's age on this blog because I do not make my mother that angry without suffering her wrath. Those of you who scoff-you live in ignorance. Those of you who are gravely nodding know my mother (or a mother like her), know me (or are like me), and accept my humility without question. Good for you; it means that your eyes and brains work well.

Today is my mother's birthday, and I forgot to send her a card. I called in a tearful apology, and she has forgiven my slight, but I do not forgive myself. Not yet. Am I being too hard on myself? M. has said yes, my sister said yes, Kat would say yes, many would say yes. I do not. I allowed my stressful week (month?) to distract me from a very important responsiblity, which is to remember my mom on her special day. She doesn't want jewelry, she doesn't eat candy, she's not big on fancy wrappings or grand gestures. My mom (like most moms) just wants to be remembered, to get a simple card (on time!!!!), and have it left at that. Not much to ask, but too much for stressed-out C. to deliver, and this is unacceptable. This is another reason why I am a jerk, and I must address that and will.

So I am calling upon you, loyal audience, to help me make my amends. Anyone, everyone, who is reading this blog, I need you to leave a comment wishing my mother a happy birthday. Allow your voice to make up for my thoughtlessness. Even if you know my mother & wished her a happy birthday on your own. Even if you don't know my mother except through me. Even if you have no idea who I am, much less who my mother is, but stumbled on this blog just for a way to pass the time, or goof off at work, or as a stop to your porn site-WHATEVER!!! If you are reading this, post a comment saying:

"Happy Birthday, Tokuko!"

Do it, please. Do it now. It will take 2 minutes, and don't forget to check your spelling. Me & mine are fussy about spelling. Thanks.

-C.