I am back in Chicago. I'm tired; mentally, physically, emotionally. Just totally drained. And yet, oddly refreshed.
It's tough to explain, and almost impossible to do so in the context of a public blog. I just know that I love my family, my family loves me, and our clan can tackle anything life throws at us as long as we tackle it together.
And I'm not used to saying "we".
I have to go to work tomorrow. I hope that I can get through my day well. I will ask for help more often than I usually do. I want for as little sorrow to come through the front door as I am pouring out plenty enough from my heart and have no desire for that river to become an ocean. I also know that should the sorrow pour out, that I can rise to the occasion as I have done before and emerge victorious because I have finally figured out who I am, what I am capable of, and what I want to be.
And in case you didn't notice, I said "I am back in Chicago", not "I am back home".
-C.
10 years ago
8 comments:
It'll be ok, baby steps kiddo.
Colleen, again, I am so sorry. Today was a hard day for me as well. One of my high school friends passed away last week, and I went to her funeral today. She was 31, was diagnosed with MS a few years ago, and she died from congestive heart failure. It is just so sad; she was a beautiful person, on the inside as well as the outside. I didn't want to post this on facebook, because so many of my friends went as well, and her sister is on there too, and I don't want it to seem as if it is all about me (I don't want this to turn out that way either--I just wanted you to know that I empathize with you). Big hugs sent your way...
--Kelly
(I have one of these bloggy thingies too: http://chancellorwilson.blogspot.com/)
i'm wishing you strength, courage and support in this difficult time, colleen. (does that sounds like a sympathy card or what?)
kj-I am so sorry for your loss, and the even more terrible loss that someone so young had to leave our world so soon. Find some peace, and let that purring that Caitlin must be doing in your lap right now comfort you as only a purring cat can. (Thank God I have my Hazel and my Mo!)
troy-I will talk to you as soon as I'm awake enough to merge from my cave. I need some solitude for a while as I know you understand.
gl-Thank you for your wishes. I don't know if your thoughts sound like a sympathy card, but I do know that they are heartfelt and sincere, and for that I will be forever and always grateful.
-C.
Colleen, I can't even begin to tell you how much I love your family. You guys ARE my family. I am praying for your peace and comfort during this difficult time.
Kathy-Thank you for your kindness as well. Yes, we are FAMILY, and it is during terrible times like this that I am able to blessedly step back and give thanks that I have such wonderful family in my life.
And about my comment on your blog-details will come soon. Be patient-but I'm sure the biggest detail you already have deduced!
It's weird when you call me Kathy...just thought I would share. I know it's been a while, but it's still Kat. :-)
Kat-Glad to hear it! I know monikers change over time so I was just going with the name on the blog. You were & are always Kat to me! :-)
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