Restless

Feeling a little restless as of late. I think it's in large part because of school starting in two weeks. If things had gone as planned, I would be graduating at the end of this semester. But life happened, things changed. Some of it beyond my control, some of it by my saying that a compromise was worth the making. And I feel that I'm on the right track. I still love what I do and still feel like I make a positive contribution to my patients' lives.

And then there is the part of me that could walk away from veterinary medicine. Forever. The part of me that is tired of dealing with sickness, of navigating workplace egos, of continually acknowledging that however positive my contribution is, it is still a small one in the grand scheme of things. And there is another part of me that sees that I could always be doing something different, finding new challenges in other fields, trying on a new life and seeing how it fits. That restlessness keeps me moving forward and motivates me to explore new possibilities, and I've considered it a good quality to have.

But it makes it very hard for me to sit still and focus. I guess that's the price you pay for curiosity.

-C.

Still Here

Yeah, I've not been on top of this blog as late. Seems like when I have time, there isn't much of interest to report (I mean, my diabetic cat's fructosamine levels and urine glucose just isn't that exciting even to other vet folk; he's doing very well, BTW), or if something's going on I'm just too engaged to stop and take note of it all here. I manage to update my Facebook status daily (sort of my mini-blog, i.e. "(I) remember the time before email", "(I) bought a new pair of Crocs today
", etc. I am keeping reasonably on top of the photo blog; I do take a daily picture, but usually cannot post daily.

Some highlights of the summer:

-I'm down to one job. (See previous related post). It's been lovely. I've spent time with friends, watched movies & shows on DVD, crocheted, learned to knit (not very well), gone to restaurants and festivals and plays and just RELAXED, something that has been more and more difficult with the past several years' blitz of double-jobbing with school part-time. And because I eliminated my debt (see other previous related post), the finances have been well-cushioned against the loss of second-job income. I'll look into getting some part-time work in the fall (maybe at the new vet emergency practice opening soon).

-I took advantage of my downtime by enrolling in an intensive one-day only writing workshop at the Stage Left Theatre company, taught by my playwright friend Margaret. A group of writers got together in the early morning, did several writing exercises, each created a scene, and then turned them over to actors & 2 directors for rehearsal & performance that night. The experience was exactly what I needed. Often, I find myself discouraged when I write, because things are never as perfect as they are in my head. Here at this workshop I didn't have time for self-doubt. And it reminded me just how much I love and miss the collaborative nature of theatre. It's amazing to bear witness to a group of professionals coming together to create something bigger than the sum of its parts. Now, on to fitting this life in with the day job...

-I signed up for Zipcar. For a low annual fee, plus a variable hourly rate, I have access to cars around Chicago. I've lived without my own car for the entire time I've lived here, and I have no interest in carrying that burden. But there are times when a car is very useful, and if I am going to do time at a large-animal practice (required by my school), then I'll need access to a car to hike out to the western suburbs where these practices are located. For now, I'm just getting used to making short trips (say, to PetsMart for cat litter, or Trader Joe's for groceries), until I can get some friend of mine to help me navigate that most evil of evils, the tollways. Any takers? Oh, yeah, and where are the hazard lights in cars these days? Things are very different since I drove my '79 AMC Concord...

-School resumes in three weeks. Surgery Prep & Assistance, Level 3, which I'm taking for the second time. I'm nervous because this is the hardest course I'd taken (hence, the repeating of it). Wish me luck, as I'd hate like hell to get stuck here.

Life is good here, hope it is on your ends, loyal reader(s).

-C.

Habits

List of things I feel compelled to do every single day:

1. Journal (3 pages in the A.M.-usually takes place on the train/bus)

2. Drink coffee.

3. Eat a banana.

4. Go for a walk.

5. Crochet. (Or knit.)

6. Do a sudoku.

7. Refill my Brita pitcher.

8. Check my friends' blogs.

9. Take a picture for my "Year in Pictures" blog.

10. Update my Facebook status.

Are there 10 things you have to do every day?

-C.

Catching Up on Rest

I've meant to sit at this blog more often, and now I've actually got the time. But I'm finding myself busy with rest and relaxation-visiting with friends, enjoying the summer, watching old TV shows. And crochet. Lots and lots of crochet.

I'm around, and I'm resting. Hope you are enjoying some free time, too.

-C.

Notice

I gave notice to the green apron company. My last day was going to be this coming Thursday, but they found a transfer from the 'burbs and didn't really need me, so my last day is tomorrow. I've been wanting to write something about this latest move of mine, but I'm still punching two clocks and I'm just so tired that I'm finding myself with little energy to devote to things like this blog. That's a big part of why I'm leaving.

I'm not currently enrolled in school, and soon I will be working one full-time job and that's it. I'll be back here to write more, as I will have the time to go with my motivation.

After I get some good sleep in, of course. Goddamn, but I deserve it.

-C.

Life, Sans Rodents.

I euthanized my rat Giggle today. She had mammary tumors, very common in female rats. She developed them about 6 weeks ago, and I gave her anti-biotics and anti-inflammatory meds to help stave it off. But I knew she wouldn't last much longer; in fact, she held out longer than I would have guessed. Cancer is pretty aggressive in rats.

I think that she will be my last rodent pet. They don't live very long, and they aren't as easy to treat as cats and dogs when they are ill. Frankly, I'm looking forward to not having to clean cages on top of scooping litter boxes, too. But I'll miss Giggle. She was a good rat.

Not much else to say about that.

-C.

Happy, indeed.

Today is my birthday. I know this because Facebook reminded me that today was my birthday, and also because the Secretary of State of Illinois sent me a letter telling me that my driver's license would have to be renewed. It isn't likely that I would forget my birthday (I never have before) but still, it doesn't hurt to have a reminder here & there.

I requested the day off & got it. (Unpaid, of course, but sometimes time is better than money & more on that subject later). I woke up at 5:15 a.m. to the sounds of Chicago Public Radio, smiled, then slept for a few more hours. I made it to the DMV shortly after it opened and was blessed with a series of very short waits. I passed my eye test (barely-I need new contacts but since I only drive about 4 times a year I'm not worried and neither should you be). The man behind the counter asked if I was still at the same height & weight. I told him to add twenty pounds to the old figure, with a laugh. That number is still not accurate but I figure that I'm a voting, tax-paying, law-abiding citizen so this really is the only time I give my government the finger and screw 'em if they can't take a joke. The picture on my renewed license is pretty bad, but I'm comfortable enough in my hot-babeness to blow it off. I take comfort over vanity these days, and that is the gift of being in my officially late-30s.

I drank some great coffee and decided to forgo an over-priced steak burger (my original lunch plans) in favor of cheap Cajun in Evanston. As I trekked to my bus stop I noticed that there were blooming lilac bushes behind the shield. Lilacs are one of my favorites; in color and in fragrance they have no match. I whipped out my camera and snapped some pictures, and noted more blooming lilacs as the bus took me up Sheridan Road to Howard, as the Purple Line dropped me off on Davis Street in Evanston. I shopped for books and ate gumbo on Church Street with the scent of them in my hair. I was blessed with even more visions of lavender and violet as the Purple Line took me back to Howard, and as the Red Line carried me into downtown Chicago, past the Loop, into a diner where a friend awaited me with cake and hugs. I saw more delicate blooms as I trekked into Andersonville, shopped some more, met with another friend, walked the mile home. I'm uploading some of the pictures now, for my photo blog, and I am leaving a window open tonight as I sleep; I hope that the scent fills my nose in my slumber, slipping into my dreams as I rest and ready myself for another week of challenge and change.

Happy birthday. Indeed.

-C.

Not There Yet

So in my rush to get my debt paid off, I called American Express to get the most current balance & mailed the check ahead of time, rather than wait for my statement to arrive. I had the cash, so why wait?

Alas, though the check was indeed in the mail, it wasn't fast enough. The billing cycle turned and I was charged interest. I now owe American Express...$1.98. Then I will be officially debt-free.

My friend R. said that I should write the check for $2, then ask for a $.02 refund. I'm considering it.

-C.