Because I am me...

After hearing a lot of friendly advice about the game of love, I've come up with my own theory:

There are one of four scenarios that can play out:

#1: You can do nothing, and the something that you want to happen will happen. (i.e-"the moment you stop looking, there he/she is!"

#2: You can do nothing, and nothing will happen (which has been me in the past, and certainly the countless Eleanor Rigbys who are out there in the world. "Ohhhh, look at all the lonely people.....")

#3: You can do something, and the something that you want to happen will happen.

#4: You can do something, and nothing will come of your trying.

And I don't believe that anyone, anywhere can accurately predict which of the four will manifest itself into my life, nor anyone else's. Regardless of experience, none of us knows the future; none of us truly has a grip on the seeming randomness of the universe.

I am the girl who would rather take action than none at all, the girl who chases the robber she knows will get away rather than sit stunned and victimized, the girl who grabs at all the shiny things around her and gets in over her head rather than the one who allows time to wash over her passively, because the weight of passivity is heavier to me than all the disappointments of the world can ever bear down.

That is me.

-C.

Mr. Spock Would So Call Your Bullshit

A brief recap of the Dating Blitzkrieg of 2011:

Sifting through an average of 20 profiles of prospective dates a week...

Engaging in no less than 50 email conversations therein since January 1st...

Going out on 13 first dates in five months. Twice, there were 3 in 3 consecutive days...

Crashing two speed dating events, at one of which I ran into a guy I dated 5 years ago who didn't seem to remember me. (Thankfully, he only had 8 minutes during which to tearfully bore me to death this time instead of 3+ hours)....

Going out on 3 second dates out of the original 13.....

Having one of the second-daters state we should stop dating when I asked why he wouldn't tell me his last name (after date 3 and when he asked me out for date 4)...

Having another of the second-daters evolve into a 4-months-long on-and-off thing that, looking back, I really only persisted with in the hopes of having someone around to have decent sex with on my birthday (which, by the way, was June 1st, and the answer to your next question is, sadly, NO!)....

Having the last of the second-daters be this warm, funny, kind-hearted man who has similar life goals as me and is good to his mother and really loves animals and is a musician which I soooo dig and is tall and handsome to boot, say to me, upon cancelling our plans for a third date (paraphrasing, of course):

"Hey, C. We've gone out a couple of times, had so much fun, I think you are an amazing person and we have this great connection. So let's not see each other any more because that's all too much for me to deal with right now."

I got a D in Logic and Critical Thinking, pal, but I was awake in that class long enough to call that a fallacy of logic.

Heavy, heavy sigh. Heavy-ass, mother-fuckin' sigh. I'm calling for a dating moratorium for the month of June. At least.

-C.